F'in hellhole Eagle doesn't seem to want to route a board that isn't pockmarked with vias like a 12-year old's face is pockmarked with zits. Vias, really? You mean a board that I could never make at home?
Looks like I'm going to have to go back to the drawing board with the test boards. Maybe I'll make a whole bunch of mini-boards with a single component on each, and have a network of 24-pin connectors hold the whole works together.